Time for Change

I'm rebellious, did you know that?  Terribly, terribly rebellious.  It is one of my character traits that I alternately embrace and dislike.  I am overweight.  I have been overweight for the last 12 years.  That is very hard to write.  I have never been skinny.  People used words like "big boned" for me, but I am fat.  I am cursed to have two naturally thin siblings.  Bony.  Little.  They can eat any darn thing they want.  To be honest, skinny people I am not related to do not bother me at all.  The ones I am related to irk the heck out of me.  It doesn't help that even when I was at the low end of my healthy weight, these same folks were telling me I needed to cut back on what I ate.  I lived on Sundrop, (and almost Sundrop alone) and they thought I should eat LESS? (if you've never had Sundrop-A. you're missing out, B. tangier version of Mountain Dew with just as much sugar and caffeine)

Because of my rebellious nature, I sort of wanted to prove that I was okay even though I was overweight.  For years I was.  I saw my doctor regularly, good cholesterol, good blood pressure, everything was okay.  Lately my blood pressure has been creeping up.  I tried to pretend that I was okay.  I was OKAY.  But the day came when I wanted to be more than okay.  I want to be healthier and I want to have more energy.  I want my kids to see me making healthy choices.  It's risky to be putting all of this in a blog when I have just started on this path.  Some of you are going to see me at a conference next weekend, and guess what?  I'm not strictly following the food plan when I am there.  (I'm stressed enough about the conference, can't even think about tracking points!)

There is another part to this equation, my wonderful husband of fifteen years.  He has his own story to tell, but he has also gained weight that he is ready to lose.  We have decided to try Weight Watchers together to see if we can become healthier.  We hope that by doing this together, we will be able to stick with it and support each other.  I feel like we are at the beginning of a very long journey.  However it is not a journey that I dread, I am excited to see what's going to happen.  I'll let you know how it goes, and if you have any suggestions or hints, I would LOVE to hear them!

 

On Conquering Fears

I am hot and sweaty and tired and gross and really should be in a shower right now.  (how's that for a sentence?)  I just gave a horse a bath.  Specifically, this horse.

This is "Country Come to Town" or, Country.  He is big and old and acts like a dog following you around.  He is my mother's horse and his skin has been itchy, he needed a bath, and someone needed to do it.  Have I mentioned that I have always loved horses but been terrified of them up close?  I think they are beautiful, but they are so darn big.  My brother and sister had riding lessons when we were kids, but by the time I was old enough they were bored with it.  My mom had grown up on a farm but had not had a horse for 45(?) years when she got Country.  My husband worked with horses at a camp in Colorado.  My sister-in-law rides, two of my sister's kids ride, my daughter loves to ride, I am surrounded by it.

My daughter started acting a little hesitant around the horses recently.  I do not want my scaredy cat ways to be picked up by my children.  So I resolved to get more comfortable with the horses.  Country is a great horse for this experiment because he is so gentle.  Little by little I have been increasing my confidence with him.  Today, by myself, I went in the pasture to get him, put his halter on, led him through the barn and hooked him up outside where I gave him an oatmeal bath followed by a medicated bath for his skin.  Do you know the problem with giving a horse an oatmeal bath?  They really like the smell of the oatmeal.  Country kept trying to get into the bucket and kept trying to steal the sponge.

So I DID IT!  I bathed the horse, turned him back out into the pasture and put everything up.  Then I practically skipped home.  I have such a feeling of accomplishment.  It's like a huge box has been checked off.  I had to sit down and write when I got home.  (after I washed my hands, of course!)  So now I need to take a shower, and possibly a nap! Then I will think about what to conquer next!

**Update** Today, I had to hold Country's head while the Vet cleaned his teeth!!!!  Combine a fear of horses and a fear of dentistry and I was weak at the knees.  The tool the Vet uses was actually on a power drill!!  but I survived yet again, (and I thought giving the horse a bath was a big deal, phew!)